Self-love is the only weight-loss aid that really works in the long run.
- Jenny Craig, diet guru
Monday, January 18, 2010
Seek Out Joy In The Small Stuff
A facebook friend had this in their notes, I stole it to share lol
The value of taking time to appreciate positive experiences seems obvious—trite, even.
Yet it's a skill that few people have mastered, says Loyola University Chicago social psychologist Fred B. Bryant, PhD. The reason is simple: We're busy, and we have a lot on our minds. There'll always be other sunrises, we say to ourselves, but if we don't hit the shower soon, we'll never beat the traffic to work. Under the weight of our daily responsibilities and worries, we reflexively tune out the fleeting, spontaneous events that could bring us deeper joy and greater health. A substantial body of related research indicates that people with a sunnier outlook about growing older recover more quickly from illness and live longer—7 1/2 years on average, according to a large Yale University study—than people who have bleaker views.
For more than 20 years, Bryant has worked to understand what he terms mindful savoring: the things we think and do to intensify or prolong positive feelings. "We all know people who are like this," Bryant says. "They're the life of the party, and they're the first people you want to turn to when something good happens."
10 surefire strategies to discover pleasure and satisfaction in everyday moments, even when life is not going your way.
1. Spread your happy thoughts
Let your daughter know how great it feels to spend the day shopping with her. Brag to your spouse about the unexpected compliment your boss paid you.
E-mail your best friend to tell her how fondly you remember the camping trip you took last year, and include a hilarious picture of your attempt to pitch a tent. Sharing happy memories and experiences with others—or even simply anticipating doing so—is one of the most powerful and effective ways to prolong and magnify joy, Bryant's research shows. "It helps sustain emotions that would otherwise fade," he says. Affirming connections with others, he adds, is "the glue that holds people together."
2. Build memories you can savor
Take mental snapshots of memorable moments that you can draw on later.
Recall vivid, specific events, and pinpoint what brought you joy. Do you love your red wool scarf because it's chic and cozy, or because its smell reminds you of your childhood romps in the snow? Interjecting mystery into happy moments—reflecting on what's surprising or hard to understand about them, for example—can strengthen their power. Just be careful not to overanalyze and lose the wonder of the moment. What you want, says University of Virginia social psychologist Timothy D. Wilson, PhD, is to dissect your experiences just enough to appreciate how they've helped form you and then get back to simply living them.
3. Pat yourself on the back
Take pride in a hard-won accomplishment—it’s not something that many people do.
If you spent a year sweating at the gym to reach a fitness goal, bask in your new jeans size—and share your success with others. Self-congratulation doesn't come easily to everyone. "A lot of people have trouble basking in an accomplishment because they feel that they shouldn't toot their own horns or rest on their laurels," Bryant says. It's a fine line between joyous self-congratulation and shameless self-promotion, but don't worry: You'll know if you're crossing it.
4. Fine tune your senses
Here’s an easy trick to hone your tastebuds or follow your nose.
Close your eyes while you roll a square of dark chocolate over your tongue or fill your lungs with salty sea air or eavesdrop on your grandchildren's play and laughter. Shutting out some sensory stimuli while concentrating on others can heighten your enjoyment of positive experiences—particularly those that are short-lived.
5. Compare downward
Comparing upward makes us feel deprived, but comparing downward can heighten enjoyment.
Think about how things could be worse—or how things used to be worse. Keep it light—you don't have to relive a scary health diagnosis or revel in a neighbor's job loss. Simply take note: Is today sunnier than the weather report predicted? Did you finish off that work project more quickly than you thought you would?
6. Get absorbed
Some joyful moments seem to call for conscious reflection and dissection.
At other times, we savor best when we simply immerse ourselves in the present moment, without deliberate analysis or judgment. Listen to your favorite music with headphones in a dark room. Lose yourself in a novel you just can’t put down. Set aside enough time on the weekend for your favorite hobby so you can attain a level of absorption known as the "flow" state.
7. Fake it till you make it
Putting on a happy face—even if you don't feel like it—actually induces greater happiness, says Bryant.
So be exuberant. Don't just eat the best peach of the season; luxuriate in every lip-smacking mouthful. Laugh out loud at a funny movie. Smile at yourself when you pass by a mirror. After all, he says, "a surefire way to kill joy is to suppress it."
8. Seize meaningful moments
Some positive events come and go quickly—a surprise toast to your accomplishments at work, your daughter's sweet 16 party.
It seems obvious that the more quickly a positive experience evaporates, the more difficult it is to savor. Yet paradoxically, Bryant has found, reminding ourselves that time is fleeting and joy transitory prompts us to seize positive moments while they last.
9. Avoid glass-half-empty thinking
The world has enough pessimists.
Short circuit negative thoughts that can only dampen enjoyment, such as self recriminations or worries about others' perceptions. When you find yourself awash in happiness, give it space to grow—don't ruminate about why you don't deserve this good thing, what could go wrong, how things could be better
10. Say thanks more often
Cultivate an "attitude of gratitude," Bryant says.
Pinpoint what you're happy about—a party invitation from a new pal, a seat on a crowded subway—and acknowledge its source. It's not always necessary to outwardly express gratitude, Bryant notes, but saying "thank you" to a friend, a stranger, or the universe deepens our happiness by making us more aware of it.
The value of taking time to appreciate positive experiences seems obvious—trite, even.
Yet it's a skill that few people have mastered, says Loyola University Chicago social psychologist Fred B. Bryant, PhD. The reason is simple: We're busy, and we have a lot on our minds. There'll always be other sunrises, we say to ourselves, but if we don't hit the shower soon, we'll never beat the traffic to work. Under the weight of our daily responsibilities and worries, we reflexively tune out the fleeting, spontaneous events that could bring us deeper joy and greater health. A substantial body of related research indicates that people with a sunnier outlook about growing older recover more quickly from illness and live longer—7 1/2 years on average, according to a large Yale University study—than people who have bleaker views.
For more than 20 years, Bryant has worked to understand what he terms mindful savoring: the things we think and do to intensify or prolong positive feelings. "We all know people who are like this," Bryant says. "They're the life of the party, and they're the first people you want to turn to when something good happens."
10 surefire strategies to discover pleasure and satisfaction in everyday moments, even when life is not going your way.
1. Spread your happy thoughts
Let your daughter know how great it feels to spend the day shopping with her. Brag to your spouse about the unexpected compliment your boss paid you.
E-mail your best friend to tell her how fondly you remember the camping trip you took last year, and include a hilarious picture of your attempt to pitch a tent. Sharing happy memories and experiences with others—or even simply anticipating doing so—is one of the most powerful and effective ways to prolong and magnify joy, Bryant's research shows. "It helps sustain emotions that would otherwise fade," he says. Affirming connections with others, he adds, is "the glue that holds people together."
2. Build memories you can savor
Take mental snapshots of memorable moments that you can draw on later.
Recall vivid, specific events, and pinpoint what brought you joy. Do you love your red wool scarf because it's chic and cozy, or because its smell reminds you of your childhood romps in the snow? Interjecting mystery into happy moments—reflecting on what's surprising or hard to understand about them, for example—can strengthen their power. Just be careful not to overanalyze and lose the wonder of the moment. What you want, says University of Virginia social psychologist Timothy D. Wilson, PhD, is to dissect your experiences just enough to appreciate how they've helped form you and then get back to simply living them.
3. Pat yourself on the back
Take pride in a hard-won accomplishment—it’s not something that many people do.
If you spent a year sweating at the gym to reach a fitness goal, bask in your new jeans size—and share your success with others. Self-congratulation doesn't come easily to everyone. "A lot of people have trouble basking in an accomplishment because they feel that they shouldn't toot their own horns or rest on their laurels," Bryant says. It's a fine line between joyous self-congratulation and shameless self-promotion, but don't worry: You'll know if you're crossing it.
4. Fine tune your senses
Here’s an easy trick to hone your tastebuds or follow your nose.
Close your eyes while you roll a square of dark chocolate over your tongue or fill your lungs with salty sea air or eavesdrop on your grandchildren's play and laughter. Shutting out some sensory stimuli while concentrating on others can heighten your enjoyment of positive experiences—particularly those that are short-lived.
5. Compare downward
Comparing upward makes us feel deprived, but comparing downward can heighten enjoyment.
Think about how things could be worse—or how things used to be worse. Keep it light—you don't have to relive a scary health diagnosis or revel in a neighbor's job loss. Simply take note: Is today sunnier than the weather report predicted? Did you finish off that work project more quickly than you thought you would?
6. Get absorbed
Some joyful moments seem to call for conscious reflection and dissection.
At other times, we savor best when we simply immerse ourselves in the present moment, without deliberate analysis or judgment. Listen to your favorite music with headphones in a dark room. Lose yourself in a novel you just can’t put down. Set aside enough time on the weekend for your favorite hobby so you can attain a level of absorption known as the "flow" state.
7. Fake it till you make it
Putting on a happy face—even if you don't feel like it—actually induces greater happiness, says Bryant.
So be exuberant. Don't just eat the best peach of the season; luxuriate in every lip-smacking mouthful. Laugh out loud at a funny movie. Smile at yourself when you pass by a mirror. After all, he says, "a surefire way to kill joy is to suppress it."
8. Seize meaningful moments
Some positive events come and go quickly—a surprise toast to your accomplishments at work, your daughter's sweet 16 party.
It seems obvious that the more quickly a positive experience evaporates, the more difficult it is to savor. Yet paradoxically, Bryant has found, reminding ourselves that time is fleeting and joy transitory prompts us to seize positive moments while they last.
9. Avoid glass-half-empty thinking
The world has enough pessimists.
Short circuit negative thoughts that can only dampen enjoyment, such as self recriminations or worries about others' perceptions. When you find yourself awash in happiness, give it space to grow—don't ruminate about why you don't deserve this good thing, what could go wrong, how things could be better
10. Say thanks more often
Cultivate an "attitude of gratitude," Bryant says.
Pinpoint what you're happy about—a party invitation from a new pal, a seat on a crowded subway—and acknowledge its source. It's not always necessary to outwardly express gratitude, Bryant notes, but saying "thank you" to a friend, a stranger, or the universe deepens our happiness by making us more aware of it.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators
By
They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, (Romans 1:29 ESV)
There may come a time, if you haven’t already faced it, when you come across haters in life. The sad thing is, everybody that you make acquaintance with are not always going to be supportive of you.
I encourage you to stay motivated, regardless of the haters that you may face. Friend, it may help to know that when you have people hating on you or what you’re shooting for in life, it just means that you’re doing something good. When people hate on you, it also means that they don’t have confidence in themselves to do the things that you’ve done or accomplished in life.
Next time you face someone who looks down on you, or tries to convince you that it’s worthless to dream big and set goals, that is a time to pray on their behalf.
A wise man once said, “Let your haters be your motivators.” Friend, when you come across haters in your life, let that motivate you to press on and do what you’ve set out to do. Don’t let forces of darkness kill your dreams. No. Press on regardless of what those around you are telling you.
Sometimes you will find in life that people won’t like you, just because. You may have done nothing to be disliked but people won’t like you simply because either you have something they want, or you are someone they want to be.
When you come across those types of people, love on them regardless but be mindful of how you associate with them. If you don’t watch it, they will talk you out of your dreams and goals.
Associate with those who are building you up and who are supportive of what you want to do in life. It’s important that you develop a strong support team of those who will support and encourage you through the thick and the thin.
Even when the day seems dark, listen to those who are encouraging you to press on. In the end it all comes down to whether you succeed, not the haters who you’ve faced along the way. You are more than a conqueror and you can do great things
23 Weeks to A New Me
I was thinking about my weight loss goals and having been there and failed before many time I came to realize in the Fall that it is that I always want a quick fix a quick turn around and lets face it that doesn't happen with anything and if it does then it all comes back to haunt us.
I started to lose weight at 1Lb or 2Lbs per week and it stayed off ok sometimes I gained a 1Lb back but it quickly went again, I came to be 12Lbs down and kept it off over the Christmas period which I am so happy about and so thrilled with myself, seeing that the smaller weight loss weekly is going to take longer for me to lose what I need to lose hasn't bothered me this time as I am seeing the results in a different sense, it is coming off in weekly smaller amounts but its staying off and that what I am aiming for its staying off.
I have been over weight for the last 10 years or more so whats another year to lose 50Lbs if it means it stays off and doesn't comer back within a few weeks.
I have never lost 12lbs before and didn't think I would see below 170lb but I did and it feels great.
So with that being said it is now 15th Jan 2010 and 23 weeks till 1st July 2010 Canada Day.
In this period at a rate of 2Lbs loss a week that will be 46 Lbs this would have me at the weight that BMI weight charts say I should be for my height, now I am not going on that as I am more wanting to be happy with the clothes I will wear and the measurements that what the scale says.
So I am not even sure of what my goal weight should be as I say I want to be 120Lbs but might be happy at 130Lbs so this 46Lb would take me to 122Lb so I might even reach my goal before this date, and if I only lose at 1Lb per weeks that's fine as well, I am in no hurry I just want the results to stick.
Starting Monday I will be going to the gym to do cardio at least 3 times per week and when I am feeling stronger and more confident then I will add in some weights, but right now its all baby steps and each step in the right directions even if its only a small step, this I am aiming for is for me nobody else.
Monday, January 11, 2010
2010 Handbook
Came across this and thought it was worth a read quite interesting, I am not religious but its still a interesting.
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time and take time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the
lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree....
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change...
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Last but not the least: (and didn't you know this was coming?)
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time and take time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the
lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree....
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change...
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Last but not the least: (and didn't you know this was coming?)
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
It's Been A While
Hm well its now Jan 2010 guess it has been a while since I last posted, but today on facebook we were having a discussion about blogs who does it,who has one, how to do it what to put on it if people, read it etc.
It got me thinking after I told the person that really its all about talking to yourself like a Dear diary so it doesnt matter what goes in it just ramblings, or feelings etc a way to put put your feelings and thoughts down and get them out of your head, get advice on things etc.
I think my blog would be very boring and negative, its all that happens in my life, I am sorting it out and things are turning around slowly but its a long process but one I am going to reap the benefits from in the long run.
It got me thinking after I told the person that really its all about talking to yourself like a Dear diary so it doesnt matter what goes in it just ramblings, or feelings etc a way to put put your feelings and thoughts down and get them out of your head, get advice on things etc.
I think my blog would be very boring and negative, its all that happens in my life, I am sorting it out and things are turning around slowly but its a long process but one I am going to reap the benefits from in the long run.
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